This is my current Work In Progress, which I haven't found a title for yet. This wasn't one of my favorite stories my husband wrote. I thought it had a great story idea, but the writing was bad. So I went back and did some rearranging and now I like it. Please read and let me know what you think.
Sunday,
December 16, 1991
Road-weary,
seventeen-year-old, runaway Don Giroux steered his 76’ Dodge Dart up a steep
incline of a side road then applied the brakes with an ear grating
screech. They
were fifteen miles north of Albuquerque, New Mexico, and still had several
hundred miles to travel before they reached their destination, Anaheim, California.
Noticing a clump of five-foot tall dense brush, he drove off the
rutted road, bouncing in his seat as he parked between them, facing south. Switching off the headlights, he glanced
nervously at the instrument panel. Would
his beloved clunker be able to last the remaining miles?
When he was sixteen, using money he earned tutoring fellow
students on computer programming, he finally bought his long-awaited car. Even though it had
more rust than green, had ugly green fur on the dashboard and an odometer
that read years instead of miles, he loved his car. The Dart gave him the freedom to break away
from the constraints of a small-town life, and a place for him and his high
school sweetheart to be alone, parking along the wheat fields of Manhattan,
Kansas.
With a sign of relief, he said, “The engine seems to be holding up
so far. We should be okay here for the
night.”
Hearing a rustling of paper, he looked over to see his girlfriend,
sixteen-year-old Janet Bartinski, with a flashlight, studying a New Mexico
roadmap.
“With all the red lines you drew on those maps, I’m surprised you
can read them,” he teasingly said. “Are
we still on track?”
Sticking out her tongue at him, she retorted, “You know I’m a
planner. I needed to make sure we took
the shortest route from Manhattan, Kansas to California.” Being second in a family of seven siblings,
she learned how to manage and organize at a young age. Studying the map again, with furrowed brow,
she said, “Donny? This road isn’t on the
map. See?”
His eyes followed her cotton-candy fingertip. “That blacktop road we pulled off must be
this one,” he explained, pointing to another line on the map. “We turned off onto an entrance to a farm
field, which wouldn’t be shown on the map.
Don’t worry, honey. We’ll be
fine.” Reaching for his door handle he said, “I really need to take a
leak. I’ll eat my yummy bologna sandwich when I get back.”
“I’m sorry Donny, but with
the check you got, that’s all we could afford.”
Even with her frugal spending, they only had thirty-seven dollars left
in cash. “I got to go too. I’ll be in the bushes on my side.”
Leaving the car idling for the warmth, Don climbed out of the car,
Janet clambering out on her side. With a
flashlight and roll of toilet paper, she scampered around to the other side of
the bushes, disappearing as she squatted.
He stretched and yawned, trying
to get the kinks out of his back; it felt as though his back was molded into
the shape of the car seat. Feeling the
pressure in his bladder, he hurried off several feet to relieve himself. Watching the steam rise in the chilly air, he
heard the slam of the car door as Janet returned to the car. After he was done, hands tucked into the front
pockets of his worn, old jeans, he wandered up the frozen, rutted road, looking
over a landscape unfamiliar to his flat-land eyes.
Finally, he was away from the
wheat fields of Kansas.
Strolling slowly, gazing up at the sky in wonderment, he was
amazed at the enormity of the sky, the brightness of the stars and the small,
full Moon. He had read the mountains made the sky seem
enormous, and they were right.
Taking a deep invigorating breath of the crisp, pine air, he
stopped in midstride, realizing he was right at the edge of a sheer drop-off.
“Oh shit.” Arms pin-wheeling, he threw himself
backwards. Heart pounding he looked
around. He’d been so entranced with the
night sky, he hadn’t been paying any attention to where he was stepping. He had almost killed himself with his own
stupidity. Then he thought about
Janet. What would’ve happened to
her? Would she know what to do if
something did happen to him?
Taking a few deep, steadying
breaths, he turned back toward the car.
Oh my God, he thought, look how close I was at driving off the
cliff. He berated himself for
endangering Janet and him. How could he
be so careless and stupid? She depended
on him to protect her. True, he’d never
been in the mountains, and he was unfamiliar with the lay of the land, but that
would’ve been small conciliation as they were plunging to their deaths. He’d have
to be more aware of the environment around him on the remaining drive to
California.
Arriving back at the car, Don
climbed in, grateful for the heat and the safety.
Janet was sitting in the passenger
seat, munching on a bologna and cheese sandwich. She held out a sandwich to him. “I was starting to get worried. I thought you got lost or fell off a cliff.”
Don stared at her in
amazement. She always did that to him,
as if she could read his mind. “Uh, no,
I was doing some sightseeing,” he stammered, deciding not to tell her about his
near death from falling off the cliff. Taking
the offered sandwich, he then fished out two lukewarm sodas from the small
cooler in the front seat, handing one to Janet.
They sat there, eating their
supper of bologna and cheese sandwiches, which Don was starting to detest. He hated the way the bologna and cheese
always stuck to the roof of his mouth.
As they ate,
Don said, “You know Jan, once we get settled and I start making some real
money, I don’t ever want to eat bologna again.
Ever.”
Giving a dreamy smile, she said, “Then we’ll
save bologna for just special occasions, dinners with candles and music. Bologna will always remind me of this time,
when we left to start our lives together.”
With a soft sigh and a faraway look in her eyes, she was already
planning their romantic dinners.
Looking at his sandwich with distaste, Don
wondered, how can you get romantic over a bologna and cheese dinner? He had a different idea about romantic
dinners. Now steak and lobster, with
some wine, that would be romantic. Hmm, he might have to teach her some new
ideas about romance. And not like the
first time, on a wave of cheap wine and too many warm beers, they’d lost their
virginity to each other at the Best Western Inn on US 177 and Bluemont
Ave.
While they were finishing their mushy supper,
they continued discussing their plans for when they reached Anaheim.
The only hobby Don enjoyed was computers, and he was
a natural at it. His programming skills were better than his teacher,
so usually he taught his teacher with the rest of his computer class. His forte was computer games, and several
weeks back he’d mailed one of his gamer discs to a big software company located
in Anaheim, California.
Three
days ago, Don received a letter from the same
software company, with a check for airfare.
They wanted to meet with him and discuss employment opportunities, after
he graduated in five months. Don figured
once they saw the rest of his computer games, they would forgo his high school
diploma and hire him on the spot. So he
decided to spend the airfare money on a road trip instead. This was his dream, to move to Anaheim,
California and do computer programming, preferably games.
But he
didn’t want to leave without Janet, whom he loved and adored. One day, while they were parked at their
favorite make-out spot, he told Janet his plans, and crossed his fingers,
hoping she would agree to leave with him.
After he
popped the question, Janet sat unblinking, staring at her precious Donny. The only dream she ever had was to be a wife
and mother, especially Donny’s wife, with their children. She was so excited he wanted to include her
in his plans, but that also meant leaving her parents,
which would be a difficult choice to make.
She loved her parents and her home.
But after looking into Donny’s pleading, gentle,
brown eyes, she knew her answer. With
tears gleaming in her cornflower blue eyes, she nodded yes, throwing her arms
around Donny’s neck.
With a
big smile of relief and love, Don hugged her back, promising her they would be
married when they were settled in California. Cuddling together, they made detailed plans
about food, fuel and what they would need to start their new life together.
In the
trunk of their car, were three suitcases, two personal computers and a brand-new
laptop Don’s mother had given him as a pre-Christmas gift. In the back seat
were pillows and blankets with a bag containing Don’s computer games and his
notes and on the floor, Janet’s overnight bag.
Sipping
her soda, Janet pointed toward some lights visible through the windshield. “What town is that?”
“That’s
Albuquerque,” Don answered, stifling a yawn.
“We’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
Looking at her arm in the moonlight, he
noticed her normally soft, tanned skin was now silvery and luminescent. In wonder, he turned to look at her. Her short hair, the color of the wheat fields
she grew up in, was now silvery-white with a halo radiating around her
head. She was glowing with a beauty he’d
never seen and she was irresistible.
A uunfamiliar, intense need to possess her and make her his overwhelmed him.
Reaching out and pulling her to him, he began kissing her deeply and
passionately. Always a
more than willing partner, Janet kissed him back just as fervently, and before
long they were in the back seat,
naked, fogging up the windows, the car rocking as though it were in a
tornado.
By
midnight, Don was drifting off to sleep; tenderly holding the girl he loved,
dreaming of the wonderful new life they’d share, once they arrived in Anaheim,
California.
Janet shook
him awake. “Donny? Wake up, please? You fell asleep on top of me. My back and neck are killing me, honey. Can you move over?”
Half-asleep
and naked, Don climbed into the cold, front seat.
Handing
him a pillow and blanket, Janet asked with chattering
teeth,
“Can we leave the car running for the heater?
It’s freezing back here.”
Don looked
at the gauge, saying, “Yeah, we have a full tank of gas. I’ll turn the up heat and
it won’t take long for the car to warm up.
Go back to sleep, babe.”
Soon,
both kids fell asleep in the warming car.
Several
hours later, Janet loudly protested from the rear seat,
“Donny, are you awake? I’m baking back
here now. Can you turn off the heater?”
Groaning,
the boy rolled over, reaching his sweat-covered arm toward the ignition switch,
turning it off. Shifting around to find
a more comfortable position to sleep in, he said, “Jeez, it sure got hot in
here. Wake me if you get cold again.”
From the
back, Janet
inquired, “Donny, isn’t dawn usually around seven-thirty or
eight this time of year?”
He
mumbled back, “Yeah, about. Why?”
“Well, I
was just wondering. My watch shows it
should only be ten after four in the morning, but I could swear its getting
light outside already. And Donny?”
The boy
rolled onto his elbow, shaking the car.
“What, Jan?”
“Didn’t
we see a full Moon last night, while we were making love?” Her voice sounded soft and dreamy.
He lay
back down, still trying to find a comfortable way to sleep, but not finding
any. “Yeah, we did. We almost watched the Moon go down. So?”
“Well,
because I can see a Moon out the window on your side, but it doesn’t look
right. Can you see it?”
He rolled
a bit, craning his neck up to look out the driver’s door window. “Yeah, I see it. But I don’t think that’s the Moon, Jan. It’s too small, plus its red. Maybe it’s Mars, or Venus. Probably planets we don’t normally see in
Kansas.”
As he lay
down, he felt her moving around in the back, before she asked, “But Donny?
I see another Moon on the other side of the car.”
Sitting,
he leaned to peer out the passenger side.
“That’s weird. This planet is
blue, one planet red, and the other blue.
They are kinda of neat to look at,
though.” Turning toward Janet, he
pleaded, “Now please go back to sleep, Jan.
We have lots of miles to travel later today. And since when did you care about astronomy?”
Her voice
came again, sounding a little fearful.
“But Donny, what about the other Moon, that’s sitting way up high and
toward the front of the car?”
Leaning
forward, he craned his neck upwards to see under the rearview mirror mounted on
the windshield. “Yeah, I see a
blue/green planet.” He sifted his gaze
up farther in the sky. “Jan, can you see
the really big one? It’s almost right
over the car and it’s a pale-yellow color. I don’t remember seeing so many different
planets before.”
From the
rear came shuffling, as she said, “No, not from here I can’t. Wait and I’ll look out the back window and
see if I–IEEYAAH.”
